For The Woman Who Never Gave Up: Celebrating 12 Months Sober
A Year Ago, I Made a Decision
A year ago, I made a decision that I have finally stuck with — and that, to me, is life-changing.
A year ago today, I decided to commit myself (yet again) to the journey of sobriety and giving up alcohol.
What got me to that point?
Was I drunk? Hungover? Had I hit rock bottom?
Not necessarily.
I can vaguely recall the last time I had a drink. I think it was the Saturday night before. I remember sitting on my sofa, feeling so empty and so lost, trying to fill the void with the rosé I had decanted into a crystal wine glass — sitting there, thinking I was queen of my own domain and all was well in my world.
But my heart was hurting.
I was broken.
There was so much longing within me.
And I just felt that I needed to find a way out. I needed to find the answer.
The First Realisation
Back in 2009 — when I first left my husband and my daughters were four and five — it occurred to me that perhaps I had a drinking problem. It was something I never really wanted to face.
Yet at the time, I started to wonder:
Why was I always struggling with feeling hungover?
Why did I continually crave a substance that gave me “a good time” but also gave me such a hard time?
I’m the kind of person who, when I make a big decision, tends to make big decisions on every level.
So when I left my husband of 10 years — and came out of the closet as a lesbian — I also decided to give up drinking.
That was the beginning of my desire to be sober.
I Failed. And I Tried Again.
And I failed again.
And again.
And again.
I had a thousand Day Ones over the last 16 years.
I cannot even tell you how many times I woke up with regret and a promise to “start again.”
The thing that kept me stuck?
I believed I wasn’t just giving up alcohol.
I thought I was giving up who I was.
The fun one.
The good time girl.
The woman who was always up for a glass of something and a laugh.
But alcohol — while it gave me a good time — also brought guilt, shame, and hangovers that haunted me.
So What Changed?
Am I an alcoholic?
I'm not 100% sure.
Was I alcohol dependent?
Abso-freaking-lutely.
But this time, I made a different kind of decision.
I didn’t chase perfection.
I chose honesty, ritual, softness, and self-trust.
I gave myself permission to eat sugar.
I poured lemonade into fancy wine glasses.
I let myself rest.
And I built a daily rhythm that felt calming, not performative.
The Power of Ritual
I used to think it was silly to put non-alcoholic drinks into pretty glasses.
But it actually helped.
The ritual of sipping something slowly, beautifully — without guilt — gave my nervous system the reward it was craving.
I also discovered kava — a Fijian root powder you can get from Coles. It's non-addictive and has helped me relax in the evenings.
Tea, coffee, hot chocolate, miso — I drink them all daily in cups I’ve designated for each.
It might sound small, but these tiny rituals created major shifts.
I Didn’t Want to Give Up My Life
One of the promises I made to myself was this:
I’m not going to stop living just because I stop drinking.
I still wanted to go out. Dance. Feel fabulous.
I still wanted to dress up and have fun.
Yes — I indulge in my Netflix and pyjamas moments too. (Cosy is Queen.)
But I also gave myself permission to explore what fun could look like without alcohol.
At first it was awkward.
Being out sober is raw. You feel everything. You hear everything. People repeat themselves. You feel… exposed.
But I gave myself permission to leave at any point — and I always knew I had my own back.
My Glow Up
Mardi Gras with my girlfriend? Incredible.
Dancing with friends, getting dressed up, feeling the music in my body — and waking up with no hangover?
Truly priceless.
This year hasn’t been perfect.
But it’s been honest.
And that’s what has changed everything.
I Proved Something to Myself
My track record wasn’t great. I’m not known for being consistent.
But I’ve proven that if I don’t give up — and I didn’t — my strength, my resilience, my inner knowing will carry me through.
There’s still a voice that says, “Will you ever drink again?”
But there’s also a deeper voice that says:
You don’t have another chance to waste.
This life wants to be lived fully — by the woman you are becoming.
One Year Sober
Today I celebrate 12 months alcohol-free.
I feel proud.
I feel calm.
I feel more me than I ever have.
Because I finally kept a promise I’ve made to myself so many times before:
To be true to who I am.
To live a life that isn’t half-lived.
If This Resonates
If you’re sober curious…
If you’ve had a thousand Day Ones…
If you’re wondering if it’s still possible to glow up in midlife…
It is.
It’s not too late.
And you’re not behind.
A Note of Gratitude
At the beginning of my sobriety journey, AA was a lifeline.
It gave me the structure, support, and accountability I needed to get through those early, raw months. The honesty, the community, the people — it held me when I wasn’t yet strong enough to hold myself.
Halfway through the year, I made the decision to continue my sobriety journey on my own. That felt aligned for me.
But I say this with a full heart:
I wouldn’t be where I am without that space.
And if I ever find myself in trouble again, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second to walk back through those doors.
If you’re looking for something free, safe, and confidential — AA might be the right place for you too.
Cheers to me.
A thousand day ones to get to one year sober.